Stitches are out!

Hi all.
Well, today I got the stitches out. Pretty amazing surgeon. There will be very, very, very little scarring. Good job doc!
I asked him to talk to me about "glioblastoma multiforme", so he did. Doesn't sound too promising. Just will do the best I can in the time I have. Thank you God for all you have done. When the time comes, God willing, I'll h ave my family here with me and we'll do the best we can.
So, so funny how you try to prepare for life and then it throws you a curve like this. Lois and I thought we had prepared for the worst. In my case, that means me going first, and yet, not in our wildest dreams did we ever think that likely. Nevertheless, here it is.
Lois will have her Social Security and a LOT of savings. Hopefully we will have planned it OK for her. If all goes well, we will have. If everything goes south, like it sometimes can, then what she will have is what she will have. That is why you have family after all!
As for the cancer, well, it sounds pretty serious. I think health nuts galore can say all they want, but I don't think they can beat this. Not in a million years. Maybe, but I would never bank on it. Folks like the Kennedy's and others that have had the same kinds of experiences would probably agree also. Dying is a part of living, so, that is what we will do when the time comes for us to do it.
I know this sounds hopeless to some of you. It is not meant to sound that way. It is meant to be practical, realistic, on the ground, routine kind of thinking. It may not sound that way, but in reality, that is what it is. I don't want to hope for more than God is willing to deliver, or wants to deliver.
There is more I should probably be writing about all of this, but I'm OK with it really. Really, I am. I'll be OK until the end and then I'll wake up when the Lord wants us all to be together. Praise his name for that.
For now, let me close with the words of one of the Psalms sent to me recently:

Psalm 61 - NASU

1 Hear my cry, O God;

     Give heed to my prayer. 

2 From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;

     Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

3 For You have been a refuge for me,

    A tower of strength against the enemy. 

4 Let me dwell in Your tent forever;

    Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. Selah. 

5 For You have heard my vows, O God;
    You have given me the inheritance of those who fear Your name. 
6 You will prolong the king's life;

    His years will be as many generations. 

7 He will abide before God forever;

    Appoint lovingkindness and truth that they may preserve him. 

8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever,

    That I may pay my vows day by day.

Today I read about a type of treatment called “gamma knife”. It refers to a kind of treatment available here in the USA and maybe not so restricted. On the other hand it seems to be less routinely available than that. That is why I need to contact OHSU now, today, to see what and when it is available.

The “gamma knife” surgery system seems to be a very, very precise surgical treatment using radiation to cut out the tumor and to leave nothing in its place. It appears to be so precise that it can cut out tumors without harming nearby good cells. This does indeed appear to be a kind of surgery that I might both qualify for and that  might be affordable to me.

There is another kind of treatment, alternative to the above, that is based in Houston, TX. It is available at the Burzynski Clinic there and would appear to be very very acceptable also. It does not rely on surgery to remove the unwanted tumor, but relies on "neoplastid" replacement technology. The technology is best described at the following website: http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/what-are-antineoplastons.html

Both of these kinds of treatment seem viable and NOT in competition with each other. Perhaps they can and should be done in combination with each other. These are the kinds of questions that I need to have answered as best as I can.
Not a lot of news today except for following up on the above two therapies. I will try to do some of this today.

Another Day

I suppose I will get used to writing these posts eventually. About the time I get used to them then something will have changed and it will be time to move on and to start another post.

One of the things I hope I never get used to is to write to each of you readers as a reader and not as a nameless and numberless person out there. I want you to believe that I am writing to you and that I am concerned about what you have to say about me and that I am concerned about what you do not have to say.

As time goes on I am sure that the number of writers out there that read this will diminish and eventually falter. That will be fine. I'm not writing it on their behalf either. I'm writing it for the few of you that will want to hang on and to explore this disease that I have for now. We will explore it up and down and in and out and all around. We will take it inside to see what is happening there and then outside to see what is happening there. We will take it to all of those places and maybe to some we haven't even thought of to explore it there!

How do you take a disease like glioma blastoma and talk about it in all of those cases as relevant and meaningful and important to me here as a daily person writing about it? It has a name. It has an unknown cause. It has multiple scientific facts about it. But perhaps the most common multifacet that it has is that it is generally not understood. It could be starting from nothing. It could be starting from something that was not meant and becoming something that is meant. It could be starting from something that was meant to be and is still not apparent. What is that?

Nevertheless, while one of the posts of this series will have to deal with its own history, or more posts, many of the posts will deal with other things about its history and consequences that I won't have the slightest understanding about. I'll just deal with them as best I can and then pass them along.

That's all for now. Hope you have a good day.
Check back later for more writing in case the spirit moves me.

God bless,
Wade

Day Three Of My Recovery

Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Today is Day 2 of my recovery. Technically it could be Day 3. Who cares. Days don't matter so much at the moment. What matters is getting better.

We took the Toyota Sienna to the dealer today to be serviced. It didn't take long and the driver should be back shortly to take us there. It came to $437.67 cents (or somewhere close in that range). Not bad for once every two years.

Nothing else went on today. We just stayed at home and I took in the time to get better. Hopefully by the end of the week that will be me! Meanwhile, I'll wait to see individuals during the week and to talk with family on the phone. I enjoy talking with family on the phone. It makes things nice.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. It could be worse. It could be better. Who knows. But one thing I know - I will try to make it better. It is my job to make each day I have left the best it can be. The very best. That is all I have to do. All I can do. So, with that in mind I plan to make it happen.

There is lots to do around here, so I will start here. Then I'll go beyond the grounds here to see what I can do. Little by little it is my job to make things happen as fast as they can because I do not know how long I will have to make them happen.

By the way, the surgeon called today. He told me that the MRI came back and it is "glioblastoma multiforme."
He will keep me posted in the next few weeks about the prognosis and what to do.

God bless everyone. God take care of you all.
by grace,
Wade

One Day Of The Rest Of My Life

Monday, October 16, 2011
Today I begin my blog of my recovery.
My recovery! What does that mean? Total recovery? Partial recovery? No recovery?
We shall see.
My first thought is that I should survive somehow, somewhere, sometime. I don't know why I have that thought, but I just do.
My previous recovery journal was upbeat and clear. No reason for it to be downgraded. No reason for it to be down geared. I hope it takes off just like that. And I hope that it takes off just like the rest.
Well, that's all for now. More tomorrow.
Wade